At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
