i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
