Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
