I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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