it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
