Texts From Last Night

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  (217): View more from Illinois

  i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.

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  (217): i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair. http://tfl.nu/v80o
  Replies (25) Good night (1338) Bad night (7140)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.

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  (780): I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you. http://tfl.nu/nb18
  Replies (8) Good night (3559) Bad night (973)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.

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  (763): Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub. http://tfl.nu/2fqf
  Replies (7) Good night (4504) Bad night (1119)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.

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  (515): mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money. http://tfl.nu/cehx
  Replies (7) Good night (966) Bad night (3347)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...

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  (630): Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know... http://tfl.nu/4kg9
  Replies (7) Good night (1442) Bad night (1941)
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  (925): View more from California

  She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.

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  (925): She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard. http://tfl.nu/tszy
  Replies (17) Good night (4405) Bad night (993)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.

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  (314): Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen. http://tfl.nu/614c
  Replies (10) Good night (4086) Bad night (802)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.

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  (920): I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters. http://tfl.nu/cy91
  Replies (2) Good night (2200) Bad night (966)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement

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  (231): I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement http://tfl.nu/2xwy
  Replies (6) Good night (1846) Bad night (550)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.

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  (651): The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is. http://tfl.nu/4fee
  Replies (23) Good night (1161) Bad night (634)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.

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  (208): Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen. http://tfl.nu/0ir7
  Replies (3) Good night (674) Bad night (838)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.

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  (202): Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT. http://tfl.nu/f3qw
  Replies (4) Good night (1175) Bad night (431)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.

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  (215): My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived. http://tfl.nu/2w8v
  Replies (6) Good night (1006) Bad night (296)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on

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  (705): As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on http://tfl.nu/a8qc
  Replies (1) Good night (352) Bad night (444)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave

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  (432): I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave http://tfl.nu/lzps
  Replies (7) Good night (504) Bad night (338)

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