they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Randomize
