12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.