I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
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stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
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My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....