that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son