in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
