Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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