She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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