I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
