we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
