You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
