Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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