Porn is love you can see.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
