Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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