I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize