The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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