Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
