I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize