Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
we're so committed to being not committed
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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