did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize