these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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