dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
well, you know. whores of a feather.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
