It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
