We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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