where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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