2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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