My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Randomize
