i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
