I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you repeat that, but with context?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize