She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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