Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
