your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
