It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't apologize to a one balled man
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
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