Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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