life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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