when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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