Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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