i think my tv is drunk
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
