Screwed.edu
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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