Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
