Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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