sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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