Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
please come you make the beer taste better
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
