i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
