I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
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Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
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The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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