last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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