based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She even gives head with a lisp.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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