Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
