so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i think my tv is drunk
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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