Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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