i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
