i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
