He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
