Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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