I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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